Skip to main content

tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  March 26, 2020 1:03am-2:04am PDT

1:03 am
♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers. tonight - kelly clarkson stars of "sherman's showowcase," comedians bashir salahuddin and diallo riddle. author cj hauser featuring the 8g band with terri lyne carrington. ♪ [ cheers and applause ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night. how is everybody doing tonight [ cheers and applause that is wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the news president trump claimed on saturday that he had scheduled and then canceled a meeting with the taliban at camp david to discuss a peace agreement. and if you're wondering where we are as a nation, my first thought was, i don't know, i'll believe it when i hear it from the taliban. [ laughter ] the "washington post" has published a new article calling former vice president joe biden and senator elizabeth warren frenemies. even crazier, they referred to john delaney and michael bennett as candidates. [ laughter ]
1:04 am
president trump told reporters today that he would release a report on his finances before the 2020 election. and said that people will be "shocked" that the numbers are many, many times what you think. okay, but anything times zero is zero [ laughter ] [ applause ] duchess meghan markle attended the u.s. open this weekend to support her friend serena williams. meanwhile, the queen went to the jets game. [ laughter ] a man on a mission to visit every starbucks in the world, last week visited his 15,000th location in peru and what do you know, they finally spelled his name right [ laughter and applause a 73-year-old woman in india is now believed to be the oldest person to ever give birth after having twins this weekend via c-section.
1:05 am
the woman is doing fine, but she's definitely going to wait a few years before trying for more kids [ laughter ] "u.s. news and world report" has released its annual ranking of america's best universities with princeton coming in first. and when they heard the news, princeton students partied deep into the afternoon [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause finally a new york-based helicopter tour company is facing criticism for offering customers the opportunity to take their dogs on a so-called doors-off flight what "it's totally safe," said the pilot. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen - [ cheers and applause we have a great show for you tonight. she is an incredible musician and coach on nbc's "the voice," as well as the host of "the kelly clarkson show. kelly clarkson is back, everybody. [ cheers and applause they are the creators and stars of ifc's very funny sketch show, "sherman's showcase. bashir salahuddin and
1:06 am
diallo riddle are here tonight [ cheers and applause and she is a talented writer whose second novel "family of origin" is available now cj hauser is joining us tonight. [ cheers and applause before we get to our great guests, the president's ongoing break from reality continued this morning on twitter as we learn more about his insistence that hurricane dorian was going to hit alabama for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: well, it's another monday in the trump era. which means we all awoke to another fever dream of cruelty, stupidity and corruption just in the last few days, the president launched a deranged attack on john legend and chrissy teigen a house panel is investigating the military's use of trump-owned property in scotland the president ignited bipartisan fury when he announced that he invited the taliban to camp david just days before the anniversary of 9/11, while simultaneously canceling that meeting and upending months of delicate peace talks
1:07 am
and he attacked former south carolina governor mark sanford who announced a primary challenge against him by trying to remind people that sanford had an affair with a woman in argentina, tweeting that sanford was found in argentina with his flaming dancer friend. [ light laughter ] [ audience ohs ] now, we think he meant to type flamingo dancer which also would have been wrong because it's flamenco dancer which also would have been wrong because there is no evidence sanford's former mistress had ever been a flamenco dancer. [ laughter ] it is like a seven layer dip of presidential insanity. [ laughter ] it's stupid stacked on top of stupid, stacked on top of stupid and then, i guess, guacamole [ laughter and applause also, i'd like to remind everyone, everyone, this is not the first time trump has gotten details of this story wrong. to explain his disappearance when he was having the affair back in 2009, sanford famously claimed he had been hiking the appalachian trail.
1:08 am
trump has tried to mock him for that before, but he's gotten that detail wrong as well. and he did it again today. >> mr. tallahassee trail or appalachian trail, he's the appalachian trail, right the tallahassee trail is nice too, but i think it was the appalachian trail. never liked him too much i wasn't a big fan the tallahassee trail. must be a beautiful place. unfortunately, he didn't go there. he was supposed to be vacationing on the tallahassee trail. [ laughter ] but he was actually in argentina. i don't know jim, do they have a tallahassee trail in argentina [ light laughter ] >> seth: no. they don't [ laughter and applause they don't have one in tallahassee. it doesn't exist [ light laughter ] the tallahassee trail sounds the name of a chain restaurant where they let you throw peanut shells on the floor [ light laughter ] and by they way, almost everything i just told you about happened before 8:00 a.m. this morning. it's hard enough to process all of this insanity in an entire day.
1:09 am
but it's worse when you haven't even had your coffee yet i never thought i would say this to a president, but please, sleep in [ laughter and applause we need to take one of those dumb novelty t-shirts that says "don't talk to me until i've had my coffee" and pass it into law. [ laughter and applause while all -- while all of this was happening, trump was also continuing his use of the presidency to enrich himself last week, trump reportedly encouraged vice president mike pence to stay at his golf resort in ireland. and on friday it was reported that an air force crew made stop at trump's scottish resort democrats are investigating whether these obviously corrupt practices violate the constitution so, trump lashed out again this morning on twitter, distancing himself from both incidents >> quote, "i had nothing to do with the decision of our great vice president mike pence to stay overnight at one of the trump-owned resorts in doonbeg, ireland. >> "i know nothing about an air force plane landing in an airport, which i don't own and have nothing to do with it, near turnberry resort which i do own
1:10 am
in scotland and filling up with fuel with the crew staying overnight at turnbury. they have good taste nothing to do with me. [ light laughter ] >> seth: wow, he is tap dancing faster than a flaming dancer [ cheers and applause also, you can't just tweet, in all caps, "nothing to do with me" right after you admit they stayed at your hotel, and you put in parenthesis, "they have good taste." he's like a guy who gets caught on camera robbing a liquor store and says, "that's not me but whoever it is is very handsome." [ laughter and applause and it's not just the air force and the vice president who are helping line trump's pockets it was also reported last week that attorney general bill barr had booked trump's hotel for a $30,000 holiday party. trump was asked about all the money flowing from taxpayers to his private businesses last week, and once again claimed he had nothing to do with it, while also taking the opportunity to advertise his resorts. >> can you speak to your involvement in the vice president's plans to stay at a trump property in ireland? >> well, i had no involvement other than it's a great place.
1:11 am
it's doonbeg i own it it's in ireland. it's beautiful it's wonderful i don't suggest anything i don't suggest it, nor did i with the attorney general. i never spoke to the attorney general about using my hotel i have a lot of hotels all over the place. and people use them, because they're the best i mean, you know, they're the best but he's using the hotel, and people like my product what can i tell you? i can't help it. but, you know, i guess they say we want to stay at a place that's better than someplace else [ light laughter ] >> seth: well, that is really quite the endorsement. sandals should steal that slogan [ laughter and applause sandals, a place that's better than someplace else. [ cheers and applause of course, all of this -- all of was going to hit alabama going even so far as to alter an official forecast with a sharpie. now, we -- [ light laughter ] we don't want to keep talking about this we would have been happy to just
1:12 am
let this go as another one of the million dumb things trump has done we talked about it on thursday, had a few days off and figured we'd wake up to a new day of fresh crimes and flaming dancers. but trump keeps talking about it and as we all know, once trump gets called out for a lie, he will not stop until he gets the last word. everything else has to grind to a halt while we watch this sweaty weirdo bark at reporters and insist that he's correct by tweeting nonstop or doing that thing where he points at his own brain to show us all how smart he is. [ light laughter ] "they did a cat scan on my brain and said it was huge here, let me show you a photo. [ laughter ]this looks like thea kid's video called heads, shoulders, knees and i can't reach my toes. [ laughter ] trump initially pretended he had no idea who defaced this hurricane map. well, it won't surprise you to learn that after the "washington post" did some digging, they
1:13 am
found out who the culprit was. it was trump who used the black sharpie to mark up an official national oceanic and atmospheric administration map, which he displayed during an oval office briefing on wednesday, according to a white house official who spoke on the condition of anonymity. no one else writes like that on a map with a black sharpie [ laughter and applause it's amazing to me the reporters actually had to spend time on this they actually had to call up anonymous sources and get them to reveal who the sharpie culprit was. it's like watergate except trump is his own deep throat he's cheap throat. "don't worry, we don't need to pay for a new map. i'll just draw it with a sharpie. everyone will think it's real. [ light laughter ] it's probably what did he for each of eric's birthdays [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] now, trump has tried to muddy the waters and confuse everyone by making this as complicated as possible so let's keep it very simple last sunday, september 1st, trump tweeted that alabama will most likely be hit much harder than anticipated and then 20 minutes later, the national weather service in birmingham, alabama tweeted, "alabama will not see any impact from dorian. as we learned this weekend, that correction wasn't the national
1:14 am
weather service going out of their way to embarrass trump they had to issue that correction specifically in response to alabama residents who were freaked out by the president's tweet. the "washington post" reported that the birmingham office sent the tweet after receiving a flurry of phone calls from concerned residents following trump's message. we're now at the point where the president is scaring people for no reason. he is basically the web md of presidents [ laughter and applause except no matter -- no matter what symptom - [ laughter and applause no matter what symptom you type in, the response says, "sounds bad, you're probably going to die. [ laughter ] seriously, think about that. people were calling because the president said they might be in danger and instead of reassuring them after he was corrected, he doubled down it's like if he stood up in a crowded theater and yelled, "fire. and then a theater employee said, "everyone calm down there is no fire." and instead of apologizing, you took out a can of gasoline and a match and said, "well, there's one now. [ light laughter ] the craziest, the most dangerous part of all this is that trump has involved other parts of the
1:15 am
government in his war on reality. just today we learned that commerce secretary, wilbur ross, threatened firings in noaa after trump dorian tweets. that comes after noaa staff were instructed not to contradict the president's sharpie hurricane forecast and on top of that, trump has an entire party in lockstep with them just yesterday, republican senator roy blunt dismissed trump's compulsive lying although he seemed to pause when asked if americans could trust the president. >> should the american public take the president at his word when he speaks >> well, the president communicates differently than anybody else >> you've said that before >> as a candidate he can - >> but he's the president of the united states. and when he issues a -- politicizing the weather i mean, is there anything left >> well, i actually -- i've spent most of this month at home in missouri and i don't think -- i think this whole sharpie thing is way being overplayed. >> are you worried that the credibility of the words of the president of the united states has been eroded? >> no. [ laughter ] >> seth: it should not take you
1:16 am
that long to answer when someone asks you if the president you support is a liar. that's like a husband who just got back from a guy's trip to vegas. "did you have fun, honey?" "yeah. "did you get a lap dance?" "no. [ laughter and applause and then there is fox news, an entire propaganda network that, with few exceptions, reinforces the president's deranged alternative reality on a daily basis. then denies obvious facts that are playing to our eyes. in fact, just last month, an anchor on fox business actually insisted during an interview with one of trump's republican primary challengers, that the president has never told a lie >> i'm running against this president, because i believe he lies virtually every time he opens his mouth. you know that, too >> no, i do not. >> i think he's morally unfit. >> i do not know that. do not impute that to me, joe walsh. don't do it. >> stuart, do you believe this president lies >> no. >> you don't believe he's ever lied >> he exaggerates and spins. >> seth: yeah, those are other ways of saying he lies [ laughter ]
1:17 am
do fox news anchors keep a thesaurus with them at all times for moments like this? "does the president lie? "no, he beguiles, obfuscates, prevaricates and dissembles. [ laughter ] also, it's very hard to come off as a moron when you're a guy with a british accent using the word impute but somehow this guy managed to do it although, if brexit has taught us anything, it is that british people are just as prone to putting dummies in charge as we are. like this dummy. >> you know the caution? you know what you have to say when you -- when you -- when you call someone you do not have to say anything. is that right? anything you say -- no, but if you fail to mention something, which you later rely on -- hang on. let's get this right do you remember it they all know it which you later rely on in court, maybe -- taken into account -- anyway, you get the
1:18 am
gist [ laughter and applause >> seth: i don't know. i don't know if we did get the gist that there -- their prime minister is like if donald trump had one of those gps settings where you could just switch him to a british accent. [ light laughter ] "i think the best way for britain out of the european union is through the tallahassee trail. [ laughter ] although my favorite -- favorite boris johnson clip from this last week, hands down, has to be this one >> please leave my town. >> i will, very soon [ laughter and applause >> seth: that might be the most british thing i've ever seen "good day, sir now please do [ bleep ] off. cheerio. americans, of course, we are slightly less polite >> mr. president, [ bleep ] you!
1:19 am
[ cheers and applause >> seth: the british one - [ cheers and applause the british one was good, but i do like the american remake. the president of the united states isn't just lying, he's concocting elaborate fantasies to defend those lies strong-arming the rest of his government to justify those lies and relying on the support of an entire political party and right wing media apparatus to spread those lies it might seem trivial when it's just about sharpies or flaming dancers, but trump's war on reality also has real consequences for real people at this point we'd be much better off if instead of being president, trump just spent his time hiking -- >> the tallahassee trail >> seth: this has been "a closer look." [ cheers and applause ♪ we'll be right back with kelly clarkson, everybody. [ cheers and applause ♪ >> announcer: for more of seth's "closer looks," be sure to subscribe to "late night" on youtube.
1:20 am
the network has to be prepared to absorb whatever is going to come its way. we're always preparing. make sure that the network is working all the time. (vo) we're relentlessly committed to the network. so in times like this, we can all stay connected to work, school, and most importantly, to each other. this smoothie has over 3 times v8 onlyas much. ams of sugar. so maybe we should call this smoothie, sweetie. v8 the original plant powered drink. veg up.
1:21 am
actually dry? let's see. it's dry. there's no dry time! makes us wonder... ...why we booked fifteen-second... slots! dries instantly and... ...keeps you protected for forty-eight-hours. musi♪ ladies and gentlemen shadow (featuring de la soul) ♪ get ready, y'all ♪ get ready ♪ ready ♪ set ♪ jump to the rhythm as hard as you can go ♪ ♪ keep it steady ♪ steady, ♪ to the letter, ♪ right? ♪ turn it up, we giving a show hey hey hey, what'd i miss? ♪ ready, ♪ set ♪ ♪ steady, ♪ bet hey allergy muddlers... achoo! your sneezes turn heads? try zyrtec... starts working hard at hour one... and works twice as hard when you take it again the next day. zyrtec muddle no more.
1:22 am
(whistle) hi! ♪ head to for fifty percent off everything! that's fifty percent off everything! at
1:23 am
has you covered withe fast, reliable internet.finity with advanced security to help keep you secure online. and with the most tv shows, movies and streaming apps all in one place. with simple digital tools you can get the help you need or even trouble shoot your services on your own. download the xfinity my account app or just say help into your xfinity voice remote. we are working to make things a little easier on everyone. download the xfinity my account app today. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: welcome back. give it up for the 8g band everybody. [ cheers and applause sitting in with us on drums this week is a multi-grammy award winning artist and founder of the berkeley institute of jazz and gender justice be sure to check out "waiting game," her forthcoming album with her band, social science, which comes out november 8th terri lyne carrington is here, everybody.
1:24 am
[ cheers and applause thank you so much for being here >> thank you >> seth: our first guest is a grammy award winning singer and songwriter and a coach on nbc's "the voice," which returns for its 17th season on monday, september 23rd she is also host of her new talk show, "the kelly clarkson show," which airs weekdays in syndication. please welcome to the show one of my favorite people, kelly clarkson, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: welcome back! >> thank you i love how you always spotlight amazing musicians. >> seth: it's really nice. guest drummers >> yeah. >> seth: it's such a delightful to have that >> yeah, they're amazing yes. >> seth: each one is different >> yeah. >> seth: they're like a snowflake or a fingerprint >> a snowflake [ light laughter ] >> seth: yeah. this is great. today it's official. you are -- you have joined the family of talk show hosts. >> official. >> seth: you're very own show. >> i watched it. [ cheers and applause
1:25 am
>> seth: you watched it? it was on today. i would like to toast you. >> oh, yes >> seth: and i would like to welcome you to the family. we are so lucky to have you -- >> thank you >> seth: -- as a talk show - >> am i in a club with you >> seth: yes, you are in the club now >> oh, my god. [ light laughter ] >> seth: we're take this away 'cause we know what happens. >> okay. we do. [ laughter ] but it was fun >> seth: it was fun. and you got to watch it today? was it exciting? >> i did we watched -- it was a whole, like, it was funny because people from "the voice," the talk show, my label, were all kind of doing stuff at the same time so we're all in my hotel room watching it. >> seth: that's really exciting. >> it was. but then it's not. 'cause, like, you're watching yourself >> seth: yeah, no, i agree >> and, like, everyone's watching with you. >> seth: yes >> and it's the worst, yeah. >> seth: i will say that i do not watch this show with any regularity yeah [ light laughter ] >> i will say that i probably won't watch it again >> seth: yeah, there you go. >> because it's, like, you i'm high fiving you. >> seth: oh, great >> it's like you i'm like, "you're leaving me hanging. [ laughter ] let's do it again. [ cheers and applause >> seth: but it is -- i also think -- you know, one of the nice things about doing these shows is, of course, the more you do them, it's really great to be in the moment of them. >> yeah. >> seth: and then to watch them is only to see the things that
1:26 am
you wish you'd done differently. >> yeah. >> seth: and so there's no value to that. >> i feel like i have enough people telling me -- >> seth: yeah. >> -- what i should've done better >> seth: i know when i got a show, everybody asked me, "did you get invites from other talk show hosts?" "did you -- did anybody tell you anything that was helpful? >> i mean -- you were nice, and jimmy, and ellen everybody has been really nice everybody has just told me to be me and i'm like, "well, check." [ laughter ] that's easy. best advice ever i don't even have to work at it. >> seth: another question i get asked all the time, do you have a dream guest? is there someone - >> meryl streep. >> seth: meryl streep. right away >> you and then meryl streep. >> seth: thank you very much, yeah [ laughter ] that was really -- [ applause ] you - >> you and meryl streep. >> seth: you are not meryl streep so i did not believe that acting performance. [ laughter ] >> did you not see "from justin to kelly", seth. [ cheers ] >> seth: justin stole that movie. >> my footprints are right behind meryl's >> but do you think, like, you could keep your composure if you ever had her as a guest? >> yes >> seth: you do think you could? >> i do. i was startled -- i know what everyone is thinking because you might have seen the video of me freaking out on the red carpet with her but i was startled
1:27 am
it wasn't -- it was unexpected >> seth: i see, yeah >> yes >> seth: yeah, so you're saying - >> i would - >> seth: -- like, if you have enough warning - >> totally - >> seth: -- that you're going to see meryl streep - >> yes >> seth: you'll be okay. >> yeah. i might have a drink before the show [ laughter ] just to calm down. >> seth: well, i'm sorry to surprise you but look who is behind you >> yeah, all right no, don't do that. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, no. you know that there's -- >> i'd be like ha-ha [ laughter ] it's fine. i swear i'm not scary. >> seth: you're also going to have the american idol judges from your season - >> yes >> seth: -- on the show as guests >> yeah, i think justin might be coming, too. so that's exciting >> seth: oh, that's exciting >> yeah, maybe a "from j to k 2. >> seth: that was -- yes >> everyone has been dying for the sequel i know it. >> seth: the two things that people ask for are the new avengers movie and "justin to kelly two. [ cheers and applause i'm assuming you've seen them all a lot over the years have you - >> i run into -- yeah, i've run into simon probably more than anyone but i hosted the billboard awards last year in -- >> seth: yes >> i kind of run into them at random points. >> seth: does it bring you back -- do you feel a nostalgia for that time? >> totally >> seth: and do you look back as -- do you remember the stress
1:28 am
and anxiety of it more or the success of it more? >> i remember the humor of it. 'cause we were all very tired. so we're all, like, you know the hysterical point where everything is funny? >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. so there was a lot of that 'cause we -- the show blew up in that first season. >> seth: of course >> yeah, so we were pushed to the nth degree yeah, so i can handle anything >> seth: that's good i want to ask about this 'cause i've heard rumors. is it true that your daughter has already asked when she is going to get to be a guest on your show? >> yes >> seth: okay. >> and also she really enjoys telling -- she just started kindergarten and people are talking about her parents. she was like, "oh, my parents -- my mom is kelly clarkson my dad's brandon." [ laughter ] why? i'm like, "i don't know if you should say that. you're going to hate in it junior high probably." yeah >> seth: and if she was a guest on your show, what do you think she would want to do like, how would she present herself? >> i think i'm actually going to see if she'll interview with me. >> seth: oh, wow >> like, well, yeah. >> seth: that'd be really fun. >> yeah, maybe i'll get her to come when meryl comes and i'll feed the questions - >> seth: oh, that's really good. >> yeah.
1:29 am
>> seth: they'd have a buffer around, yeah >> exactly, yes. >> seth: so if it goes badly, you can say to meryl - >> blame the five year old >> seth: "this was not my fault. >> "this was her." >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> "she's horrible." >> seth: so "the voice" coming up >> yes >> seth: is the year -- season 17. >> yes and my team is really good >> seth: your team is really good >> yes >> seth: you won 14, 15. >> yes >> seth: you lost 16 >> mm-hm >> seth: and are you -- is it -- obviously, based on that face, this bothers you >> no, i mean, it bothers you just 'cause your team. you want them on win, obviously. >> seth: right, right, right >> but, no, i've been working them after the show anyway but john is really good. he's hard to - >> seth: yeah. john legend. >> he's hard to combat - >> seth: he won last year. >> yeah, he's -- legend's in the name [ light laughter ] >> seth: yeah, exactly >> he's an egot person so, that's hard. >> seth: you also have -- he's yeah -- he's an egotv. 'cause he also - >> a "v. >> he won "the voice." >> oh, i was like, where we going? [ laughter ] way to go. >> seth: he's an egotv >> egotv, yeah >> seth: you -- this is amazing. your -- for you, your talk show and "the voice" are on the same lot. >> yeah, like a golf cart away >> seth: a golf cart away. >> yeah.
1:30 am
>> seth: so you finish one show and you just get into a golf cart and drive to the other. yeah, i kind of want to go, like, "pimp my ride. and i want them to, like, just supe up my golf cart >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> like, with hydraulics just look ridiculous >> seth: do you drive? >> yes should i not probably >> seth: well, no, i - >> have you been talking to my husband? [ laughter ] >> seth: was this over the years? i mean, you -- i've been on lots sometimes you see stars are being driven in the back or the shotgun >> no, usually, yeah, lopez, my husband -- usually it's other people. >> seth: gotcha. >> yeah. >> seth: but you do think you can handle a golf cart >> yeah. [ laughter ] i just bought myself, actually, '76 bronco it's completely restored for my birthday in april. >> seth: did you really? >> yes >> seth: you got it for yourself >> i also have a tesla save the planet. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause i drive a tesla more >> seth: yeah. >> elon. >> seth: yeah. >> but i like it it is nostalgic for me so, yeah >> seth: yeah, a '76 bronco. that's a cool car. her name is dr. quinn. >> seth: her name -- >> we're forging - >> seth: her name is - >> we're forging new paths >> seth: gotcha. dr. quinn. >> on the frontier >> seth: and do you often buy
1:31 am
yourself a birthday present? is that something -- >> often >> seth: yeah. >> in months that aren't even my birthday [ laughter ] just to fill the sadness [ laughter ] i'm just kidding i'm totally kidding. >> seth: yeah. >> i'm here for the joke >> seth: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> i do -- i'm a prime member. we have a lot of boxes at our house -- >> seth: you do? >> -- from amazon constantly it's an addiction. >> seth: oh, well, look, if anyone deserves to be gifting themselves, i believe that it is you. >> thank you >> seth: and i'm so happy to have you here on the first day of your talk show. >> thank you >> seth: and - [ cheers and applause it's always a delight to see you. >> it is a delight >> seth: kelly clarkson, everybody. >> high five >> seth: "the voice" returns on monday september 23rd at 8 p.m and "the kelly clarkson show" airs weekdays in syndication on nbc. we'll be right back with bashir salahuddin and diallo riddle. [ cheers and applause ♪ i'm your mother . and i like to question your every move. like this left turn. it's the next one. you always drive this slow? how did you make someone i love? that must be why you're always so late. i do not speed. and that's saving me cash with drivewise. my son, he did say that you were the safe option.
1:32 am
and that's the nicest thing you ever said to me. so get allstate. stop bossing. where good drivers save 40% for avoiding mayhem, like me. this is my son's favorite color, you should try it. [mayhem] you always drive like an old lady? [tina] you're an old lady. no. uh uh, no way. ♪ come on. no. no. n... ni ni, no no! only discover has no annual fee on any card. but after roman was born, i started transitioning out to spend more time with the family. i found this job as an operations manager on linkedin. i applied, and i ended up getting the job.
1:33 am
i applied, ♪ hershey's. the original cookies n' crème. completing your 2020 census could mean smoother roads. or more emergency rooms. or more representation in our government. the census counts us all. and an accurate count helps inform where billions go every year. so, don't miss your chance to be counted. we're kind of depending on you here. complete the census, online, by phone, or by mail. shape your future. start here at
1:34 am
that's a zzzquil pure zzzs sleep. shape your future. our gummies contain a unique botanical blend, while an optimal melatonin level means no next-day grogginess. zzzquil pure zzzs. naturally superior sleep. yeah, that needs mmm. that's better. hvr seasoning. you either love it or you really love it. ♪ only lexus asks questions like these, because we believe the most amazing machines are inspired by you. experience the rewards of our curiosity.
1:35 am
how you watch it does too. tv just keeps getting better. this is xfinity x1. featuring the emmy award-winning voice remote. streaming services without changing passwords and input. live sports - with real-time stats and scores. access to the most 4k content. and your movies and shows to go. the best tv experience is the best tv value. xfinity x1. simple. easy. awesome. xfinity. the future of awesome. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: our next guests are emmy-nominated writers their show, "sherman's showcase" airs its season finale wednesday
1:36 am
night on ifc let's take a look. >> man, we're going to destroy barry gordon that's our money >> hell, yeah, it is >> yeah. >> and we're going to get it back, y'all. every last red cent. >> what do we call ourselves >> i got it. temptation's 11. >> yeah, that's it >> gladys likes it don't you gladys a good ring to it. >> yeah. >> seth: welcome to the show, bashir salahuddin and diallo riddle! [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ >> seth: welcome to the show, fellas >> yeah. >> yeah. >> seth: it is lovely to have you back in the building we first met when i was on "snl" -- >> that's right. >> seth: and you guys were writers for the previous iteration of "late night" with jimmy fallon >> that's right, that's right. >> we were here for that >> it's good to be back here >> we were there for, like, four years.
1:37 am
we were like, literally, i think, like, the fourth or fifth people they hired. >> that's right. >> the building was empty. >> seth: the building was empty. >> and we all grew up. >> seth: and you guys -- you guys met in college? >> met in college. >> yeah. >> that's right. we were not studying [ light laughter ] we decided to just, you know, spend all that time trying to be funny and make everybody in the lunch room laugh >> yeah -- yeah, we actually met in an a cappella group because that's where the cool kids were. >> seth: sure, sure, yes [ laughter ] yeah, usually, like, no nerds allowed. >> no, no, no. >> no, no. >> we -- nerds, please [ light laughter ] you got to get recruited >> seth: and this is at harvard so you have to have to have a place where no nerds are allowed. >> right, yeah, yeah >> seth: or otherwise, they'll just be everywhere >> they'll be everywhere, man. >> seth: you -- you are a deejay graveyard shift. >> actually, okay, embarrassing story. i fell asleep in the law library one night. and i lost my term time job. so i actually just started, you know, spinning records and i would charge less than the other deejays. >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> so, that was that >> seth: and is it true that you were 2:00 to 6:00 a.m. >> yeah. >> oh, yeah, on whrb yeah, we had a radio show. [ light laughter ] >> and by the way, if you are a
1:38 am
radio deejay at that time of night, the only people calling in are usually prisoners >> prisoners [ laughter ] shout out to bill and rick in prison >> yeah, shout out to bill and rick in prison [ laughter ] eric in e block. >> what's up, homie? >> i see you, man. [ laughter ] hey, my man. we made it, bro. [ laughter ] two of us made it. but i would bring him to the studio, sometimes, i'd be like, "hey, bashir, will you be like a dance artist?" >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> and so, i'd be like, "hey, in the studio with me now, i have a jamaican artist, blue nile crocodile ranks. ♪ and, of course - [ light laughter ] >> and then, of course, our jamaican friends would say, "we don't sound like that. >> that is the fakest -- i'd ever heard please don't ever do that again. >> seth: you guys -- this is very hard to accomplish and i want to congratulate you you have two shows on the air right now. >> that's right. >> yeah, yeah. [ cheers and applause >> seth: you have "sherman's showcase" on ifc and you have "south side" on comedy central >> "south side," yeah. >> seth: and "south side," bashir, your wife is in the show and your brother is in the show. >> my wife, my brother, my business slash writing partner, two of my boys from high school. literally every child my mother
1:39 am
point. [ light laughter ] >> seth: did the idea for the show come from the fact that you had so many people that fit into this story so well >> well, you know what it was is that, we wanted to do a show about one of our hometowns originally, we were going to do a show about diallo's hometown of atlanta atl in the house but we ended up doing a show - [ cheers ] hey guy. [ laughter ] but we ended up doing a show about chicago. you know, so much about what you hear about the city is -- it's maligned and it's like tough stuff and i'm like, that's not what i grew up with. my city is vibrant and fun so we thought, let's have chicagoans speak for themselves. so most of the folks you see on our show, not even professional actors, just the funniest people we know. >> seth: and i should point out that it is also -- [ applause ] it is also honest and authentic. >> yes >> seth: it doesn't run away from the things that are true about chicago. >> no. >> seth: but it also shows that it is not this dire situation. >> oh, no. we start from the reality but we you know, they don't walk around all day with their heads, you know, hanging down, trying to figure out how to make it through another day while blues plays in the background.
1:40 am
[ laughter ] which, by the way, would be amazing. but no, they find joy and they find spark and they find spirit. and so, once the city started showing its true colors to america, the response has been amazing. season two is happening, y'all it's going to be a great time. [ cheers and applause >> seth: one of the things that's as impressive as having two shows on the air is how different they are >> oh, totally >> seth: i mean, so this is this really authentic show that feels very true -- >> it's like grounded. >> seth: yes, exactly. >> important show, and then, there's "sherman's showcase. >> seth: and then, you have "sherman's showcase," which is basically based on these '70s type variety shows like "soul train" and - >> "solid gold." >> seth: "solid gold." >> some guys in there. [ light laughter ] >> seth: and it really -- it's kind of hard show to describe or explain. so i'm going to let you guys do the best >> i would say the short hand is that if 30 rock took place at "snl." our show takes place at "soul train. >> seth: yeah. >> "solid gold." >> yeah. >> but the key difference is that what we really do, is we use it to create this show that, like, almost anything can
1:41 am
happen >> yeah. >> like, two of our favorite shows are "pee-wee's playhouse." >> like we were kids when that was out. [ light laughter ] muppet show. >> and also, the muppet show >> yeah, yeah. guys [ applause ] that's peak tv man and it's also like a place where we can bring in our other extended family. >> yeah. >> you know, my wife was the choreographer. my nephew was the animator you know, we called in friends of ours who've been on other shows. like, you know, i was on a tv show called "marlon" on nbc. i called up marlon wayans. i was like, "will you come through and do this? and he was like, "who is this? who is calling me? [ laughter ] he was like, "i thought i blocked this number. and i called from my wife's phone, and so, he came through the show >> shout out for marlon. >> tiffany haddish, lil rel and eliza -- nigel lythgoe from "so you think you can dance. because we wanted to put the dancers as, like, the comedians on the show. so many dancers are actors as well so it's just a really fun show you kind of have to watch. you know what it's like to do a show at ifc. >> seth: yeah. >> like, you have a lot of creative freedom and you just kind of run with it. >> seth: and one of the great things about the show is you have written, i believe, 23 original songs?
1:42 am
>> there's so many great songs you know, we were writers but, you know, we kind of loved what the lonely island did. >> seth: yeah. >> like, the first time i heard "lazy sunday," i was like, this is funny, but also, this beat goes hard. >> as a deejay, you can mix it into yourself. >> seth: yeah, exactly >> so we were like, we have to do songs that are really good. so we partnered with john legend, he's a friend you know, john legend, ne-yo >> oh, my gosh - >> vic mensa >> seth: you guys have a show that you love. a show that's very near and dear to your heart. it is called "marina del rey." >> yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. it is one of my favorite songs it is written with some help from the knocks, who are like one of my favorite, like, sort of like electronic indie bands >> seth: and "marina del rey" is about a part of california that you feel it doesn't get enough attention. >> like, hollywood has a million songs. >> a billion songs >> los angeles >> seth: right, right, right >> but nobody is writing songs about where people park their boats. >> yeah. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> you know, marina -- yeah, exactly. so we were like, "why don't we write a song about l.a.'s most neglected neighborhood." and they loved it. >> seth: well, do you think there's a song we could hear a little
1:43 am
okay >> seth: yeah, yeah. oh, my god, that would be wonderful. here they go, you guys >> i mean, i - >> yeah, maybe maybe, i don't know. >> seth: all right, well -- let's go, you guys this is very exciting. here to perform "marina del rey. "sherman's showcase" and the knocks >> wow, look at it los angeles. newport beach. dennis beach >> redondo >> it's a beautiful day, man what should we do? >> i think we should go to marina del rey one. two. three. ♪ ♪ we're going dow to rent this boa and get off the land ♪ ♪ take my advice don't past those rocks tell us what to do ♪ ♪ i am the captain no said silver malibu ♪
1:44 am
♪ let's spend the day let's spend the da in marina del rey ♪ ♪ let's spend the day let's spend the da in marina del rey ♪ ♪ i want to pla i want to play in marina del re in marina del rey ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: bashir salahuddin and diallo riddle, everybody the season finale of "sherman's showcase" airs wednesday night on ifc we'll be right back with cj hauser! [ cheers and applause ♪ so i'm old on promoting you this quarter. cool? drop the taco. get in the car. does this sentra feel like a compromise to you? wait, what...? the handling is good, right? no compromise there.
1:45 am
nope! watch this... umm... b-brie...brie brie! rear automatic braking. so if this nissan sentra isn't gonna compromise, why should you? you're right! atta girl. the all-new nissan sentra. with more standard safety features than any other car in its class. could put cookies & creme in twix...twix with more standard safety features this is a right twix. excuse me... [screams into pillow] new twix cookies & creme. may contain disodium distyrylbiphenyl disulfonate. yeah... i don't know either. switch to seventh generation. clean clothes, no unnecessary chemicals. yeah... i don't know either. switch to seventh generation. at t-mobile, we know that connection is more important than ever. we've increased network capacity, given more access to unlimited data. and provided free data for schools and students.
1:46 am
visit to learn more. you can also manage your account, make payments, and find t-mobile stores that are open near you. we've been asking, are you with us? but we want you to know, we're with you.
1:47 am
charmin ultra soft! it's softer than ever. charmin ultra soft is softer than ever, so it's harder to resist. okay, this is getting a little weird! enjoy the go with charmin. we'the conference room.ore. the speaker phone. the missing files. not in the room? then you're not in the know. well, this has been nice, but can we not? microsoft teams invites everyone you work with to work together. be seen, be heard, be there when you're not. share your files, and your opinion. and maybe even a happy little fruit guy. when you're ready to unleash the power of your team, open teams.
1:48 am
1:49 am
♪ >> announcer: for more "late night," go to follow us on instagram and twitter @latenightseth
1:50 am
and be sure to check us out on youtube and facebook head over to itunes to subscribe to the "late night with seth meyers" podcast. you'll get "a closer look" and more downloaded right to your phone. ♪ (whistle) hi! ♪
1:51 am
head to for fifty percent off everything! that's fifty percent off everything! at we do it every night. every night. i live alone, but i still do it every night. right after dinner. definitely after meatloaf. like clockwork. do it! run your dishwasher every night with cascade platinum. a load with as few as 8 dishes, is all it takes to save water. an energy star certified dishwasher uses less than four gallons per cycle. while handwashing uses that, every two minutes. so, do it. run your dishwasher every night with cascade platinum. the surprising way to save water. they get that no two people are alike and customize your car insurance so you only pay for what you need.
1:52 am
what do you think? i don't see it. only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ for that many calories you could have 9 veggie chips. these are more chip than veggie. while v8 is a snack you can veg out on. v8 the original plant powered drink. veg up. the network has to be prepared to absorb whatever is going to come its way. we're always preparing. make sure that the network is working all the time. (vo) we're relentlessly committed to the network. so in times like this, we can all stay connected to work, school, and most importantly, to each other.
1:53 am
1:54 am
1:55 am
♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: our next guest is an award-winning writer who's new novel "family of origin" was published this summer and is available now. please welcome to the show cj hauser, everyone. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ >> seth: welcome to the show, cj >> thank you for having me >> seth: so i will admit, i first became aware of your work with this short story you wrote in the "paris review" called the "crane wife. >> yes >> seth: it's about a trip you took it is personal, it's nonfiction. and what made you both take the trip that you wrote about and then decide to write about said trip
1:56 am
>> yeah, so i took the trip, because i was writing a book that involved field scientists studying birds and all of the scientists in my novel were shuffling around great stacks of papers and saying hmmm. and they didn't seem like very good scientists. so i went to figure out what actual scientists look like and did. and then, i wanted to write about it because i want people to save the whooping cranes. and as i started writing it, i realized that i was leaving out the part where i had called off a wedding a week or two before and that it was impossible to write the essay without including it >> seth: so when you -- as a fiction writer, you're basically writing this nonfiction piece about your personal situation, like, is that a tough hurdle for you to get over and in so far as what you're sharing with people? >> yeah, i had some hesitations about it i had some people read it ahead of time. but, i think what was important for me with the essay was that it's not about -- i didn't know how a relationship went wrong, but it was sort of about how the call was coming from the inside of the house and i was the problem with a lot of things and
1:57 am
but i kind of anticipated it would be like sharing a story at a dinner party of your friends, and then, it wound up being like i was screaming stella in the streets. [ light laughter ] so i did not anticipate that so i could not have prepared for that >> seth: yes >> yeah. >> seth: and then, you know, i read the book after, and obviously, it became very clear to me why you went to study these field scientists this is, you said, is about a bunch of people who are studying a specific kind of bird. >> yes >> seth: what was it that you found out like going and spending time with that kind of scientist that informed your writing of them in the book? >> i mean, not to be a bummer about it, but science is really slow and really boring a lot of the time but it is so important that we do it. and it's a very beautiful kind of way i don't know, to be in the world, like, to spend that time on the gulf for me, in this sort of meditative state counting wolfberries and crabs. it really taught me a lot about who i was and the work that people are doing every day >> seth: yeah, there seems to be an inherent patience involved in it that maybe most writers i
1:58 am
know don't have. [ laughter ] did it feel like a difference for you to take your writer's brain and have to slow it down to just observing as opposed to commenting on? >> i was looking for the story the whole time and the story is, "here's another wolfberry. [ laughter ] and so, i think that was really humbling for me. and i think that that's why it took a while i didn't write about the trip until a couple years afterwards. because i needed to figure out why it was still in my head and why it still meant so much to me >> seth: this -- in the book, you talk about a group of people who are reversalists in that they believe evolution is going backwards. >> yes >> seth: where did this idea come from, where did you get that >> so, misanthropy at large -- i work in academia i think that, i don't know i'm a child of very optimistic baby boomers and i would not change being raised by optimistic baby boomers for anything but there is a lot of trashing of millennials going on. there's a lot of "millennials killed the napkin industry" in literature and everything. and i just felt like i can imagine people thinking that everything is getting worse.
1:59 am
generationally, it's getting worse, every day, it's getting worse. and i wanted to think about what sort of people -- i don't know, feel that way. how do you get that low? and i was getting that low and i sort of wanted to call myself on thinking everything was garbage to find a better answer, i hope >> seth: you -- another place where i'd imagine, optimism is very helpful for writers, and you are a teacher. and you teach at colgate and i would imagine students, especially writing students there, has a sense of frustration and how hard writing can be when you haven't started it or you've started and you don't like it. you use totems to inspire your writers. >> yeah. >> seth: can you explain that real quick >> i do, but first, i have to reach into my pocket >> seth: okay, great >> just for a minute >> seth: okay, so this is -- so this is a little chicken >> he's a little chicken >> seth: and so, you give this to your writing students and what does it represent >> so the idea is that i think there's a lot of stuff that goes on about writing practice and how precious people are. where, like, i have to wake up at 5:00 in the morning, i have to drink this coffee, i have to be in this chair and i think that's not helpful
2:00 am
because i think a lot of the time, we're broke and we're struggling you're trying to fit it in whenever you can i wrote most of my first novel in bodegas on lunch break. so the idea is that when they graduate, they take their tiny chicken, and whenever he is on the desk, it is a writing desk and it doesn't matter if it is sort of a break room for the job that they have if it's a desk in sort of a house with a million roommates in a place that they're regretting moving. wherever they are, they put it on the desk and that's what makes it a writing desk. >> seth: that's fantastic, and i can keep this? >> yes, this is your chicken >> seth: that is very kind of you. [ cheers and applause thank you so much for being here congrats on the book, it's wonderful. >> thank you so much >> seth: i really appreciate it. cj hauser, everybody [ cheers and applause "family of origin" is available now wherever books are sold. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ♪
2:01 am
2:02 am
- 58 million latinos live in the united states. if we all participate in the 2020 census, we can ensure fair funding for our schools, libraries, hospitals, and other public services. the census is safe, it's confidential, and our community is counting on us to do our part. we know who we are and how vibrant our community is. let's make sure our nation knows it too. for more information, visit, and to participate, go to [ cheers and applause >> seth: my thanks to kelly clarksonudn. diallo riddle. cj hauser, everybody [ cheers and applause terri lyne carrington.
2:03 am
of course the 8g band. we'll see you tomorrow [ cheers and applause ♪ >> daniel: tonight, on "a little late with lilly singh. >> lilly: you're 70, and your brain is broken? the best you can do is become president of the united states [ laughter ] >> daniel: plus -- >> lilly: give it up for my writers, everybody [ cheers and applause here's a rejected joke about video games. twitch was something i used to do in my sleep [ laughter ] whose dad wrote this joke? [ laughter and applause >> daniel: and - >> lilly: taran killam the challenge is to turn that topic into a sexy graph. >> light bulbs ♪ touch it th right way and you're giving me shocks ♪ ♪ love how yo squeeze two bulb inside one tight box ♪ >> lilly: ooh! ♪ you're my dream bulb baby sexual medicin i think about your touch more than thomas edison ♪ [ cheers ] >> daniel: coming up
2:04 am


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on